Letters to My Daughter, September 2018

Dear my red bean bun,

You know, when you were still dancing in that pink leotard and tutu, I watched the older girls enrolled in more than three dance classes. And I asked myself, why? Why do you want to be in that so many classes? Why would I pay for hundreds of dollars of monthly tuition fee, costumes, as well as jazz and tap shoes

I vowed to myself to not register you to more than two classes. Two classes are the max.

Here you are, enrolled in five dance classes.

What happened?

I'd like to think that I don't pay for dance classes. Instead,

  • I pay for those moments when you feel like quitting, but you don't.

  • I pay for the opportunity that you have terrific instructors that will teach you that dance is not just about movement but also about discipline, commitment, hard work, and life. (Don't check out, kiddo!)

  • I pay for you to learn to take care of your body.

  • I pay for the opportunity for you to learn about team work and to be a supportive, kind and respectful team member.

  • I pay for you to learn to persevere, when you struggle to master a step, but still determined to do your BEST next time.

  • I pay for my girl to learn to make and accomplish goals.

  • I pay for my daughter to learn that it takes hours and hours of hard work and practice to be good at what you do, and that success does not happen overnight.

  • I pay so that my daughter can do what she loves instead of spend hours in front of a screen.

  • I pay for the opportunities that dance provides you to develop attributes and skills that will serve you well throughout your life.

I can't wait to see you on stage next year!

XOXO

bund2

Sunrise at Brooklyn Bridge

A friend of a friend visited NYC with her family, and they wanted to do a shoot at Brooklyn Bridge when it is still quiet. When is the Brooklyn Bridge ever quiet? The answer required me to wake up at 4:00 am. Oh, did I mention it's winter here?

I arrived 30 minutes earlier than the appointment. Bracing the chilly morning at 6:30 am, I walked across the bridge to scout the light. It was quiet, and I really enjoyed it. Few people did their morning run. I also spotted several people carried their cameras.

I entered from the Manhattan side and walked towards the Brooklyn side, so I was facing the sunrise. I was freezing but I watched the sunrise slowly rose, and I didn't know how to describe it with words. It was beyond beautiful. I watched the sun painted the sky.

Letter to My Daughter, April 2018

My donut,

I will always remember the day when you said that you see me as your best friend. 

To me, that is one of my significant accomplishment as a parent. Because as a parent, I have decided not to position myself as a parent since the very beginning. 

I do not want you to be scared of me. I do not want you to see me as more superior than you. I do not want you to see me as a person who you need to obey and that everything I do is right. 

I want you to see us as equal. I want us to share, to support each other, to push and to challenge each other. 

So when you said that I am your best friend and that you feel you can share anything with me, I took that as the highest compliment. I am happy that we can create an open and honest communication. Thank you for sharing your stories and for trusting me with your secrets. Thank you for always lending me your ears and for sharing your honest opinion.

I do too have a best friend!

Your minion

Letter to My Daughter, March 2018

My mung bean,

Remember when we "argue" when we say I love you more? None of us want to love each other more than the other. We want to show that we have bigger love than the other. 

I found this poem below that sums up how I feel when I say I love you more. 

I don’t mean that I love you more than you love me.

I mean that I love you…

More than all the obstacles life will put in front of us.

More than the distance between us.

More than the sum of the hardships we will bear.

More than the lure of any other life.

More than any fight we could have.

More than anything that could tear us apart.

I don’t just love you enough to make it through…

I love you more.

Bund2

Letter to My Daughter, February 2018

My dumpling, 

I was lying down on our bed last night, and I smiled when you snuggled your legs underneath mine. 

I was thinking about my feeling last night. I felt upset, sad, confused, tired, but at the same time, I also felt grateful and blessed. I have said this before, but I will never be tired of saying this. 

I am grateful for having you, and I am blessed to have you. I feel that God has done me a major favor and given me the most precious gift when He infused a life inside me. You are healthy, beautiful, strong, and smart. You have common sense and good judgment, and you also have a big heart. 

In the midst of this chaotic life, you are my reminder that I have something precious that I can always call mine. 

When the days are hard, and I thought the world doesn't treat me fair, you are a reminder how much blessings I have received in my life. 

When my days have a rainbow, you are the first person I would like to call. 

You understand me. 

I don't have to finish my sentences. 

I don't have to struggle trying to explain to you about how I feel or what I think. 

You understand me.

You complete me. 

Oceans of love,

Wonton

Letters to My Daughter, December 2017

Dear Kimchi,

We made it to the end of this year. I believe there are many valuable things we have encountered and learned this year. I think 2017 is better than 2016. 

If I could pick a word to represent 2017, it would be Resilience. 

I believe the Hunter test and the series of tests and interviews for Prep for Prep and BSGE helped you acquire new skills and perspective to help prep you for your next journey. All these tests and interviews were not an easy task. I couldn't imagine myself having had to do this when I was your age. When I accompanied you to these tests, I watched your tiny figure disappeared into doors, and then I let a long sigh. I admire you for being brave and for wanting to try out. Not because you wanted to show off, but because you believed in getting a good education. Many times I was wondering whose wise kid I have raised! 

Sometimes I feel that you were just being thrown into a pool and asked to learn to swim at that moment. And I firmly believe you managed that challenge very well. 

You are a resilient warrior! 

Love,

Bimbimbap

Letters to My Daughter, November 2017

The other day you said that you see me as your best friend. Personally, that is the highest compliment I have ever received. 

For you to see and treat me as someone you can trust and to speak with is an achievement that I do not take lightly.

Yes, I make and implement rules, and I am sure that as a mother, I can be a pain. But I am glad that you see me beyond that. I am thrilled that we have a strong bond and connection, and it only grows stronger with the time. 

You are 12 now, dumpling. 

I am thankful that you live in this era. An era when people started to recognize and listen more to the voices of women and girls. A period when doors to more opportunities for women and girls begin to open wider, and they can be who they aspire to be. 

The world is probably more chaotic than ever before, and we have not broken the glass ceiling, yet. But, if I look back to when I was your age, we have come pretty far.

I am happy that you have the opportunities that I did not have back then. You get to share and contribute your voice, opinion, and ideas. And you learned over time that your voice and opinion matter. 

With abundant access to books and information, you have an extensive opportunity to equip yourself with a mighty weapon - knowledge.

More and more people in the society are more receptive to one's individuality and choices. You can be who you want to be, be with who you want to be, and this is powerful.

I hope you will be able to see all of these opportunities that lay ahead of you and without hesitant taking full benefits of those. Rather than shying away, use your uniqueness and wealth of knowledge as your strength. 

I support you, dumpling and I believe in you!

Letters to My Daughter, October 2017

My dearest kimchi,

I attended several junior varsity volleyball games where you played, and I watched you with delight. 

You did the unexpected, the unthinkable. Like scoring four serves in a row or returning a ball that was difficult to maneuver. Hello, fast legs and muscle! 

You see...you maybe didn't know or realize it at first. But, you have it in you. You have the power to do remarkable things, the unthinkable things. You just have to remain calm and believe it. 

Do not think otherwise. 

Set your mind to your goals, focus, and you will get there. 

You are the little engine that could! 

XOXO,

Bimbimbap